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Shooting From The Hip
Observations From The Outside
The Right Path Lays Open Before Me, Though It Doesn't Lead Me Anywhere In Particular 
9th-Apr-2008 08:35 am
Tao of Rayne
Sometimes The 'Verse lets you in on life's secrets in little subtle ways.

Anyone who knows me knows that I have very low tolerance for religion. I have tried many of them, especially during my years at a Christian college. I visited every church that was near the college — and there were a LOT of churches nearby. Add to that the fact that if you couldn't walk to the church, they were more than willing to bus you in. It was like a virtual Christian smorgasbord. The only problem I had was that they just didn't "speak" to me. I just couldn't get into them.

After college, I played around with the whole pagan and wiccan thing — tarot cards, runes, circles, etc. It wasn't a very good trade for me — transitioning from a male dominated religion for something that was more female dominated. The problem wasn't so much the "philosophy" behind them, it was just that they weren't me. Being a gay male didn't help much either. The Christian sects don't want you because you are an "abomination" and the pagan just feels very "woman power" (it attracts a lot of lesbians) — and both of them are very strong in the heterosexual sense. They just weren't for me.

I've read about Islam and their practices and recently I've been investigating Buddhism. I just can't seem to get past the "you must worship this deity" mentality. What is it with this "following the laws set by an invisible being" thing anyway? (Don't get me started on the Buddhists who have to worship Buddha. That just seems sort of confused.)

Then comes the moment when The 'Verse steps in and sends a message to you that puts into words everything you're feeling.

In this case, it occured after Ice Dragon. We stopped off at the Galleria mall on the way home. In the mall there was a tea shop which had -- outside of tea -- books and music. There was this one book that, for some inexplicable reason, just caught my eye. It was one of those daily devotional things where it has a quote/lesson/whatever for each day of the year. This one was titled Buddhist Wisdom.

As my usual habit with anything that had dates and something different written for each one, I flipped through the book until I found my birth date. The message for that day was:

"If you find yourself with no support on the spiritual path, then walk alone. There is no point in trying to learn from those who have nothing to teach."The Novice, verse 61

Yeah, I had to buy the book — if only to have this quote. I can't really explain it. About all I can say is that I get it. And that's all that's important.
9th-Apr-2008 03:16 pm (UTC)
That seems to fit with your Outsiderness. I'm glad you are finding a way to be spirtual on your own terms.
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