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Shooting From The Hip
Observations From The Outside
And The Winner Of The Lucy Ricardo Award Goes To.... 
19th-Nov-2008 01:10 pm
Big Damn Heroes
Come over little children and let Uncle Oericthegn tell you a story...

There once was a Guy who didn't have to arrive at work until 9:30am. His Partner, who had to be at work by 8:30am, took the bus earlier that morning so he could be at his job on time.

Now this Guy wasn't a lazy chap by any means, but because of the later start time for his job he knew he could take his time getting ready.

As he was leaving his house, he noticed that snow had fallen the night before and that his car needed to be brushed off. He proceeded to lock the front door to his house and unlock the doors to his car. He placed his briefcase and lunch on the back seat of the vehicle and grabbed the snowbrush that was sitting on the floor there. Then he climbed into the front seat to start the car, because everyone knows that a warm, toasty car is a beautiful thing on a cold snowy morning.

The engine roared to life then settled into a gentle purr. The Guy turned on the heater and window defroster. Smiling, he stepped out of the car, armed with his snowbrush, and closed the door.

He spent a few minutes cleaning all of the snow off his car, but he wasn't worried at all for he still had time to spare. Soon his car was clean of the white fluff.

He grabbed the rear door handle to open it so he could put the snowbrush back into its spot on the floor by the backseat. He pushed the button -- but the door didn't open. Curious, he thought. He tried again, but the door still wouldn't open.

No matter, he told himself and he reached out for the driver's door. It wouldn't open either. In fact, none of the door would open on the car.

Keeping a cool head, the Guy reached into his pocket to get the fob that would open the car doors with just a push of the button. He discovered his pocket was empty. He looked through the window of the car to see the keys and the fob hanging from the ignition slot of the car.

It was at this time that he remembered that his car had this special feature where the doors would automatically lock a few seconds after the vehicle was started when all the doors were closed.

Not to worry, the Guy thought to himself. I'll just go into the house and get the spare set of keys. He walked up the steps to the porch and the front door. He reached into his pocket to get his house keys -- only to find that his pocket was still empty. Slowly he looked over at his running vehicle with the keys locked inside.

Although this was a predicament, the Guy wasn't worried. He could still call AAA or his Partner. Either one could rescue him from his dilemma. He reached down to retrieve his phone from its belt holster. The belt was there, but the holster with the cell phone wasn't. It was then that he remembered seeing it on the entertainment unit in the livingroom as he briefly reminded himself that he needed to grab it before he left for the day and then just as promptly forgot.

This situation, although unusual, was not unheard of as his Partner had locked himself out of the house a year or two prior. All he did was push through one of the window screens and climbed in through the window. The Guy decided he was going to try that too.

He went to every window that was low enough for him to push the screen and climb in. Unfortunately when the situation occurred to his Partner, the summer sun was beating down upon the land. It was winter now and the storm windows were all down as well as the interior windows.

The Guy looked at the house, locked up tight. He then glanced at the locked vehicle which was still running. He shook his head. It was now time to introduce himself to his neighbors.

He walked up to the first house and rang the bell. No one answered. He knocked on the door. No one answered. He tried the second house. No one answered there either. He tried a third and a fourth house. All yielded the same result.

He stood on his porch and considered his next move. As he was pondering, a lady walked past the house. He got a brilliant idea!

He ran after the woman. "Excuse me," he called out. She stopped an looked at him curiously. "Would you happen to have a cell phone that I might use?"

"I don't have a cell phone," she quickly replied as she turned and continued walking.

He looked around his street. Usually there were people walking around his neighborhood all the time, what with college in session; however, on this day, it was strangely quiet.

He tried a couple more times to borrow a cell phone, but those people hurried on as though they hadn't heard him. Finally, across the street was a Rather Cute Young Man who was on his way down the street.

"Excuse me," the Guy called out to the Rather Cute Young Man. "Would you happend to have a cell phone I might use for a moment. I am locked out of my house, my car is locked and still running, and I have no phone with me."

The Rather Cute Young Man paused, smiled, and said, "Sure."

Using his one call wisely, the Guy called his Partner, who also had a spare set of keys, and implored for him to come home. The Partner agreed, though warned it might take some time as he had not driven into work -- he had taken the bus.

The Guy thanked the Rather Cute Young Man profusely for the use of his cell phone and bid him a wonderful day. The Rather Cute Young Man smiled again and commented that he was glad to be of service. He then turned and continued on with his journey.

The Guy then went back to his house and waited on the cold porch for his Partner to arrive with the spare keys. Fifteen minutes later, the Partner arrived in the Boss' car -- with Boss in tow. The car was unlocked, the house opened, and the cell phone was retrieved.

The Guy could finally get to his job -- now a half hour late. Luckily for him and his persistant early attendance, his Manager enjoyed the story and told him to get to work.

That's my tale, and I'm sticking with it.

19th-Nov-2008 07:40 pm (UTC)
What a wonderfully warm car the gentleman had to drive into with with!!
19th-Nov-2008 07:44 pm (UTC)
Always stick with your tail. That or someone elses!
19th-Nov-2008 09:36 pm (UTC)
And I and my socked feet as I break into my own house in the snow in December 2006 feel your pain.

At least it had a happy ending.
19th-Nov-2008 09:53 pm (UTC)
I know somebody who recently drove to work and locked his keys in his car when he got there (no special features to help him with that either). So he asked a friend to retrieve his spare keys from his house (since the friend had a key to his house). Once the friend got back with the spare keys it was discovered that not only had he locked the keys in the car and left the lights on, he had also left the car on!
20th-Nov-2008 09:39 am (UTC)
how dare i not be living down the street anymore to get you out of the cold while waiting to access keys...
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